AQUARIUM MASSAGE ! (no photo available-censored !)

I could hear gentle waves lapping at the shore. A bubble sound and fish everywhere! The entire room bathed in a soft blue light and one wall with schools of fishing swimming through waving sea weed.
“This must be where mermaids go to get a massage”, I thought.
The Azores have wonderful health spas. They utilize volcanic mud, sea water, pools where geo thermal water heats the ocean, and mineral rich bathing ponds. I just simply decided to book an appointment at my hotels small spa. All I needed was a massage.
“ Señora , Have you had a massage before?”, the lady asked me. “Yes”, I replied. (But never quite like this I’m sure....but didn’t say)
There were two massage tables in the room and both of them were luminous. I was greatly relieved to see no one was on the other table. They were like small water beds that were glowing from the blue lights beneath them. Only they were fairly high in the air. There was a small stool beside my table and it had two steps on it so you could actually climb up onto the table.
“Hmmm, This will be interesting” I told myself. “Gotta try and not fall off.”
“ I will be back in a moment, Señora, Here is a towel to cover yourself.”
After she left I took a closer look at the table. The edge was a metal frame and the mattress the water bed part. So at least there was an edge I could get a grip on. Using the step stool I managed to climb on top but scooting into position took some extra effort. The water kept moving and it was hard to get traction. If it took much longer I would need a sea sick pill.
The other challenge was that water sound. Trying to relax with the urge to go to the bathroom.
“Might be a really long hour,” I thought.
The massage was wonderful. When my shoulder, hip or back hurt I get relief from massage therapy. It always helps. One of my neighbors and friends is a professional masseuse .She has a massage room in her home and does an excellent job. Plus her massage table is closer to the floor so there’s no chance of a nose bleed. This massage was almost as good as hers but she doesn’t have any blue lights, I’ll have to ask her about that.
The relaxing hour went by quickly and the lady said:
“Take your time and relax a little while before getting dressed.”
I thought, “I am going to need extra time just to get off this table”!
Here’s the deal, when you are on top of a thin sheet which is on top of a heated plastic air mattress massage bed ( which is moving like it’s high tide! ) and you are covered with scented massage oil, it can be a bit tricky. I think if took me ten minutes to just turn over and not roll back. Then once I was on my side and trying to sit up....that took a while. If you try to do it while laughing it also takes longer I found out. My CG (center of gravity) is below the waist and does not change position easily,
Once I was in a sitting position there was a new obstacle. The metal edge of the bed so handy for climbing on became a torture device to ease across to climb down. All the while the spa staff thought I was in there relaxing.! Ha!
AfterI got every body part lined up to step down I saw the stool had been moved about two feet closer to the end of the bed than when I got on. (By the way it was painted black. Hard to see in blue light ). So for the next 5 minutes or so I carefully moved my well oiled legs across the waves in an attempt to get down without falling down. It was an impressive fete of engineering because even the bottom of my feet had been oiled. Seriously you should all be impressed I am still in one piece. That leg/hip that hurt so bad this morning decided not to complain with everything else going on at the time. Eventually I was back on solid ground, dressed and back in my room and ready for a nap.
I still wonder how the mermaids manage to get on and off that table

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